Trance (perhaps) in progress. Feedback appreciated!

[JannikR]

After following Daves trance tutorial a short while, I quickly realized that it's near impossible to come up with an original sound and idea when hearing someone elses melody over and over again. So this is me giving a shot at something new, with free hands. It's the first song I've ever come up with and I am very aware of it's flaws, but I'm hoping to get a second (and third) opinion, and even have more flaws pointed out for me.
It's made entirely in Reason 4.
Please, ask questions or hand me some feedback!



Song:
http://soundcloud.com/jannikr/trance-tryout

[Fl4m3]

Hey!
Pritty good try, but what came to my mind is that you have to make something with the kick, it doesnt really fit with the rest of the track.
Then the clap and open hat is way to loud. In your case i would try to make em lower and add some reverb on them, change the pitch on the clap and a little more highend to it.
To my ears i wouldnt call it trance as it is now, but atleast it was a good try for beeing your first track
Keep it up!
//
Fl4m3

[JannikR]

Thanks!
Yeah, I'm aware that the kick sounds a little off, I've been struggling to make it come out more, without any success. And I'm having a little trouble finding samples too.
It does sound alot better silencing the snare and hats a little, thank you for that!


Cheers
Jannik

[pseudonym]

For you first song I think it sounds pretty good (it's a lot better than my first few song ideas). That bass is awesome, too. If your struggling for a better kick, try layering more (if you're not already doing that). Sometimes I have three or four different kicks layered together. As Fl4m3 said,take the level down on the hi hat and maybe a little bit less reverb, but that's just my taste. Also maybe take the snare down a bit, but it's not too bad at this level.

Overall, it's pretty good, though.

[BPT]

Layer the kick with a lower kick so it punches more.


You need to add more breaks and breakdowns to the song, as it is now, it's really short and it just moves straight through my head. You need sections where you take away certain (and sometimes all) instruments to build tension, because as of right now, this track has none of that. Also, as far as I heard, all of the instruments play the same loop throughout ever since they are introduced. Try to add some variety.

I liked all the synths, except for the lead which sounded a bit too generic for me, but that's probably just because I'm a bit allergic to supersaws.


Very good for a first composition, though.

[JannikR]

Thanks for all the feedback, it really helps alot, cheers!
I'm aware that the song structure is completely flat, that's just to have a ground to work with.
The drums however are starting to sound better, specially the kick (eventhough there's a weird aftertone to it, which I can't really get rid off). I've also added a break.

http://soundcloud.com/jannikr/trance-update-wip

Only the first third of the song is changed, so no need to bother with the rest of it.
Thanks again!

[pseudonym]

Sounding better! A few suggestions though.

Maybe have a longer intro. Put more space in between the lead synth in the intro and the bass. Try dropping out the snare or kick one or two bars before introducing the next instrument (to build anticipation for the something new).

Try eqing the kick a bit to get rid of the aftertone (even though it's not as noticeable in the middle of the song). Sweep the frequency with a fairly thin q to find the aftertone, then just remove it.

It still seems like there is a bit too much reverb on the hihat (again, this is just my taste), but it gets better in the middle of the song.

I like that sweep the snare roll does before the break, too. Also, I would just like to say again that the bass is AWESOME!

[TheDkwbl]

This tune really bounces along - Effective build/change at 0:48, catchy melody line in the middle (1:19) good stuff.

[JannikR]

I'm back with a final version of the song for. It sounds a little overcompressed from time to time, but overall I guess I'm satisfied with what I've done.
And lots of lots of thanks for all the comments!

Cheers


http://soundcloud.com/jannikr/trance-last-update

[pseudonym]

Sounds great! Although I miss that bass a little. Maybe bring it out more. For me, it gets lost. Also maybe take down the lead melody a little. It begins to overpower the beat. But for your first song, it is excellent. No worries.